Somewhere With You
by Sgarc12
Summary: Breaking up is hard, moving on is even harder. Ashley sees her ex girlfriend Spencer out with her current and memories from Ashley's past come back full force. A Short Story
1. Memories

_**A/N: Hello, all. I wrote this chapter in mind of it being a oneshot, but the way I left it I'm think this will either be 2 or 3 parter **_

_**Enjoy & Review!**_

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It was just another lonely Saturday evening; I was walking along the beach with my arms wrapped around myself when I saw her, her beauty is captivating. I stood there for a moment just taking in her sight. I watched as the wind blew her blonde hair and she tucks it behind her ears. I knew she had started dating somebody already, knowing that pushed me forward to move on.

It had been a couple months since I saw her last.

I was building up the nerve to walk up to her and say "hi" when I notice another brunette come up and take her by the hand, I saw the brunette lean in close to her and whisper in her ear.

Spencer threw her head back with laughter like it was the funniest thing she ever heard. It was music to my ears to hear her laugh.

I used to be the one to make her laugh. I used to the one who held her hand in mine. I couldn't help the green eyed monster that suddenly took over me.

I tried to hide my prying eyes but they were just drawn to her.

I remember everything about her the way her skin crease in between her eyes when she's confused, the way she pouted her lips when she didn't get her way and the way she'd tilt her head to the side when I said something adorable and she didn't have words to fathom what I just said.

I miss her.

I miss us.

I walk up to the ocean and look towards my left, she standing with her bare feet in the water. The other girl comes up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist. I cringe inwardly. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. I should just turn around and walk away. I just can't help but to watch her.

I close my eyes and my mind instantly floods with memories from our past.

"_Where are we going Ash?" I just picked her up from her house on a Saturday night for our date night. _

"_It's a surprise!" She pouts her lips and I can't help laugh at her._

"_I love this song." I say reaching for the knob on my stereo and turning up the volume. _

_I start swaying side to side with the music coming out of my car speakers. I love when I can be 100% myself with her. _

"_Nothin' Can Stop This Burnin'  
Desire To Be With You  
Gotta Get To You Baby  
Won't You Come, It's Emergency  
Cool My Fire Yearnin'  
Honey, Come Set Me Free  
Don't You Know Now Is The Perfect Time"_

_I am singing to her and she has this big goofy grin on her face. "Come on Spence! Sing with me!"_

_We Can Dim The Lights  
Just To Make It Right  
In The Night  
Hit The Lovin' Spot  
I'll Give You All That I've Got_

_I smile because we are both losing ourselves in the music. We are dancing around in our seats and jammin' out to old school Michael._

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)  
Pretty Young Thing  
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)  
Tender Lovin' Care  
And I'll Take You There

_The song ends and we both burst out laughing. _

"_I can't believe you got me to sing and dance in your car." Spencer says though fits of giggles. I look over at her from and she's holding her stomach. Its moments like these that I love her the most._

"_You're so cute when you giggle." I say before pulling into the parking space._

_She tilts her head at me and a small smile plays at her lips. _

"_We're here." I say turning the keys and killing the engine. She looks up and sees and a small gasps leaves her mouth._

"_Santa Monica Pier. I love this place Ash."_

"_I know. I thought we'd come back here since we had our first date here two years ago." I exit the vehicle and walk around to her side of the car and open it for her. I extend my hand for her to grab to help her out of the car._

"_Such a gentlewoman. Thank you." She says before giving me a kiss on my cheek after exiting the vehicle._

_I blush at her simple words._

"_Let's go." I grab her hand and lead her towards the pier. _

_I know exactly where I'm taking her. The first thing we did to when we were here two years ago. _

"_Blue Streak Racer." I can see all the memories of our first date flashing through her eyes and a small smile plays at her lips. _

"_Let's go." I had already been here earlier that day to buy tickets. I didn't' want us to waste time when we got here. I just wanted us to have as much fun as we did that first time._

"_It almost feels like we are on our first date again." She breathes before pulling me in for a simple kiss. "I love it. I love you Ash."_

"_I love you too Spence." I wrap my arms around her. We stand still for a few moments looking into each other eyes._

_We coaster pulls up to the gate, we wait while the previous riders get off the ride. When we are given the signal we sit down in a cart and place the bar over our laps. _

"_Ready?" Spencer says grabbing my hand that's seated in my lap._

"_As ready as I'll ever be." I whispered intertwining our fingers. _

_The coaster slowly begins to move and we slowly climb up the track. I am nervous. I've never been so nervous before. I watch her she's looking ahead in anticipation of the big drop. _

_I lean over and whisper "Spencer?" She looks over at me curiously. _

"_I love you. I can't see a life without you." She tilts her head again that adorable little way. I could never get enough of that._

"_Will you send forever with me? Be my wife? Spend forever with me?" I say pulling out a ring from my other pocket. I chance a look in front of me to see how much time I have before we reach the top._

_She still hasn't said anything. I'm about to put the ring back in my pocket and put my head down in shame when she cups my face and brings me in for a soft kiss. "What took you so long?" She whispers out._

"_Yes?" I say excitedly._

"_Yes!" She assures me. I quickly slide the ring on her finger. _

_We kiss again right as we hit the stop and in mere seconds we are descending at a top speed but the world could be falling apart and we wouldn't know it. We are too busy kissing and sketching this moment into our memories. _

_Before we know it the ride is over and the lap bar from the coaster is lifted from our laps. We break apart, look at each other and burst out laughing. We laugh because we just missed the whole ride, we laugh because we are both so happy, we laugh because we know that nothing in this world matters but the two of us. _

_Once we exit the ride, we walk hand in hand down the pier and I notice Spencer keeps looking at her left hand._

"_Do you like it?" I timidly ask. "I can get another one if it's not the one you wanted." _

"_Baby, no. I love it. I love you. You're everything I ever wanted." She pulls me into another kiss, we are pulled away from a loud thunderous roar and lightening that's lighting up the California sky. _

_Rain starts to fall down all around us, everybody beings to run for cover and take shelter but we just stand there for a while looking into each others eyes. _

"_Come on." She says pulling me away from the pier. We jog down onto the beach and she pulls me down underneath the pier. We are the only ones who have found shelter here. _

_She pulls me into an intense kiss. I don't think I could ever stop kissing her. We slowly made our way down onto the cold sand. _

_She lays be down, pushes some loose damp hairs out of my face and runs her thumb along my cheek. I can see all the emotion in her eyes. She trails her hands along my body slowly gazing my chest and my abdomen. _

_She stops at the button of my jeans, she slowly undoes them and snakes her hand into jeans and into my underwear. _

_Nothing is being said in these moments. _

_She cups my center and I feel tingles all over my body. She parts my lips with her middle finger carefully running her finger from my heated entrance to my aching clit. In this moment, I know that I could never love somebody as much as I love her. _

_She brings her head down closer to me and we lock eyes; the intensity of our stare is electrifying. I'm lost in her blue eyes. I bring my hands up and dig my fingers into her rain damped golden locks. _

Unexpectantly, _she enters me with two fingers, I throw my head back at the pleasure of having her inside me. _

"_Look at me." She whispers._

_I look back at her as she slowly trusts in and out of me, never moving too fast. Right now it's not about fucking me. It's about making love to me, sweet beautiful love. _

_Every trust is filled with love. _

_Her eyes are filled with a lust filled glaze, she lowers her head down a little more and whispers close to my ear "I love being inside you. I love the way yours wall tighten around my fingers when you're so close."_

_I lost it._

_She slowly circles my clit with her middle finger while I come down from my high._

"_God Spence." I breathe out. Not really having any words for what just happened. "Promise me something?" _

"_Whats that baby?" She asks settling down on my shoulder. We can hear the rain still coming down around us. _

"_You'll never leave."_

"_Aww baby, I could never leave you."_

"Ashley?" I open my eyes and see Spencer standing front of me.

"Oh, Spencer, Hi."

"How are you?" She asks out of curiosity.

"I've been good. And you?" I look over to the brunette holding her hand.

"Oh umm, Ashley is this Madison. Madison, this is Ashley, an old friend." She says shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot trying not to make eye contact.

"Nice to meet you Ashley." Madison says reaching out her hand to me to shake. I shake because I can't bear to be rude in front of Spencer. She doesn't need that from me. I still love her and will always be treated with respect from me.

"You too."

"Look we should probably be going if we're going to make our dinner reservation Spencer." Madison speaks up and I see Spencer staring at me.

"Oh yeah, well it was nice to see you again Ashley." Spencer says with a smile and the tilt of the head.

"You to Spencer. Take care." I whisper out not really loud enough for anybody else to hear until they were straining.

I watch as they turn around and walk away from me. I watch as Spencer walks away hand in hand with another woman. I see Spencer turn around and give me one last glance before they are out of sight.

It is then I fall to the sand and cry. I cry because I was stupid enough to let the love of my life slip through my fingers.

"_Aww baby, I could never leave you." _I think back to those words the night of our engagement. That was the last time she made love to me. It was the last time we were ever together as a couple.


	2. Who I've Become

Once the crying had slowed down, I realized couldn't do this anymore I needed a release, a temporary high. I pulled out my cell phone, scrolled down the contact list and pressed send.

"Hey, it's me. I'm coming over." I didn't give the other person a chance to reply before I pulled the phone away from my ear and hit end.

I slowly make my way to my car, I put the key in the ignition and made my way to the place I usually find myself when I just need to… feel. I'm not proud of myself for my actions. Some days I just feel so numb.

I pass by her old house on my way to my destination. I decided to pull over. I close my eyes and once again I get lost back in the past.

_I was just getting home from our date when my phone started to ring. I looked at the clock and saw the clock read 3 o'clock. There is only one person who would call me this late._

"_Hey baby." I answered the phone._

"_Ash? Can you come pick me up?" I could hear the tremble in her voice. I could picture the silent tears running down her beautiful face. _

"_Are you okay? What's wrong?"_

"_Please Ash, just come get me." She then ended the phone call. I wasted no time getting back in my car and racing back to her house. The ten minute drive took five minutes._

_When I pulled up to curb I saw the front porch light click off and the door open and Spencer ran out and jumped into my car slamming the door._

"_What's wrong Spence? You're scaring me." _

"_Just drive Ashley." I didn't ask any more questions. I started to drive to our spot. It's the place I always took her when she needed to vent and talk about her mom. Spencer's mom had always had problems with our relationship. _

_We had just graduated a few months ago and Spencer was accepted into Berkeley. I excited for her, it was her dream to always go to school there. She wanted to be some kind of engineer, she loved to take things a part and put them back together again just to see how they worked. _

_It was beyond me how a girl so beautiful and so fragile could want such a complicated job. I didn't care what she wanted to do, I told her I would support her 101% and would always be there when she needed me. _

_I pull into the parking spot that looks over the city. I took in all the lights of L.A. it really doesn't get any better than this. I shift the gear in park and lowered the radio and shifted in my seat so she has my full attention. _

_The whole car ride I noticed she had silent tears rolling down her face and she stared out of her window._

_I looked down and notice she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. "Spence?" I say grabbing her left hand and rubbing on her ring finger. _

"_I didn't lose it." She opens her right hand and the ring is sitting in the palm of her hand. "I can't marry you Ashley. We can't be together anymore."_

_My heart just skipped a few beats. I don't have any words to fathom what she just said. "Don't do this Spence." I tighten my grip on her hand. _

_She shakes her head and tears start to frantically roll down her face. "I'm so sorry."_

"_Why not? What changed?" It had only been a few hours since we were making love under the pier. What changed her mind? She promised she wouldn't leave. "You promised you'd never leave me."_

"_Ashley, don't make this harder than it already is." She shook her head._

"_No Spencer, you can make love to me and promise me forever and break up with me a few hours later."_

"_We're too young Ashley. We have our whole lives ahead of us. We don't need to settle down." This isn't her talking. I know it's not._

"_This isn't your decision is it?" She doesn't say anything she just says silent trying to avoid looking at me. "Spencer look at me."_

_She doesn't, she just stares out onto the city lights in front of us. "Look. At. Me." I bring my hand up to her chin and turn her face towards me. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me." I caress her lips with my thumb. _

_She sobs even harder. "Ashley, please just let me go. Just let me go."_

"_No." I'm not going to let her walk away from this, from us, from me. "This isn't what you want. I know you Spencer. You don't want this. You. Love. Me." _

"_Sometimes love isn't enough Ashley." She looked into my eyes and in that moment I could see all the love and emotion that she held in her heart for me. "I will always love you. I truly believe you are the love of my life, but…"_

"_But what Spencer? You're willing to let me go? Walk away from us?" I finally let go of her hand as the tears started to roll down my face. "All because of what? Your mom?"_

_She looked down._

"_I knew it. This is all your mom's doing. Jesus Spencer." My hands started to shake with anger. "When are you ever going to let her stop controlling your life? When are you going to start living your own life?"_

"_She flipped out when she saw the engagement ring. She told me if I married you she wouldn't pay for my college and kick me out. Ashley I don't want to risk my future."_

"_So you rather throw away our future? What about the future we always envisioned? Don't I matter to you?"_

"_Of course you do. I love you Ashley. It's just…" She reaches for my hand and I violently jerk it away._

"_Yeah but love just isn't enough right?" I feel like I've been hit by a dump truck and been ran over by a semi-truck one hundred times. I've never felt this kind of pain before._

"_Ash…"_

"_Don't Spencer. You made your choice." I hear her sobs strike up again. I don't pay any attention to her I just sit there for a bit and cry. We cry together. _

_I pull out of the spot and start to drive back towards her house. I just wanted to crawl underneath my covers and cry myself to sleep. I just wanted to get this night over with. It was the best and worst night all in one. _

_I pulled up to her house. We both just sat in silence for a few minutes. I could tell she didn't want to get out of the car, I knew this wasn't her decision. Her mother was forcing her to choose between the two of us and her mother won. I knew her mother hated me from day one, but why did she feel the need to give Spencer an ultimatum. If Paula would just look past all her religion and her beliefs she would see that her little girl is truly happy and I do everything in my power to make her happy. _

_I don't want to be the reason that Spencer didn't have a relationship with her family, later in life she would resent me and I would still lose in the end. I love her enough to let to go, I have no choice but to let her go. _

"_Ashley," Spencer turned to me with her hand on the door handle, I turned to look at her. "I love you and you'll always be right here." She said putting her hand over her heart._

"_Goodbye Spencer." I said looking straight in her eyes. She released a long sigh before opening up the car door and getting out of the car. "I'll never stop loving you Spence." I whispered once the car door closed shut. I watched as she ran up to her house, her body violently shaking as she cried. _

Five years later I've held on to those words, sometimes I see her walking her dog along the beach from the deck of my beach house but I've never had the courage to walk up to her and say a simple hello.

I start the car and give her house once last glance before driving away. It only takes me another few minutes to get to where I was headed; I pull into the small suburban house and make my way up to the stoop.

"What took you so long?" He says opening the door, pulling me inside, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.

This is who I've become and I'm not proud of myself.

"Sorry. I got distracted." I say nonchalantly.

"You saw her today didn't you?" He runs his hands through my hair and down to the small of my back. I don't want to talk about what happened today. He knows my past, he knows how in love with her I am.

"Aiden. Don't talk anymore." I put a finger up to his lips before pulling him in for a kiss. He knows I'm not here to talk. I'm only here to forget about her. He knows the rules; this is nothing more than semi-good fuck. I haven't slept with another woman since her.

I break the kiss and lead him back towards his bedroom. Again, I'm not proud of myself.

A few hours later I find myself back at my beach house. I'm sitting outside on the deck drinking a cold beer when I decided to go for a walk. I decide to walk the half a mile to the pier; I haven't been there since that night.

I'm taking a swig of my beer when I hear crying coming from under the pier, I look around and I see somebody sitting with their knees pulled up to their chest and their head thrown over their knees. I feel like I'm intruding on their private moment, I shouldn't be here so I turn around to leave.

"Shit." I spit out when I step on a rock trying to turn around. I never wear shoes when I walk to beach. You would think I would have learned by now.

"Ashley?" I barely hear a whisper. I freeze. I slowly turn around as I hear Spencer's. "Is that you?"

And once again I cannot form words. I just nod my head.

"What are you doing here?" I finally ask.

"Well… I.. umm… I came here to think." She looks away and turns her head towards the ocean.

"Sounded like you were crying."

"No...well...yeah." She said with a slight smile.

"Are you okay?"

"Madison proposed to me tonight." She rushed out really fast. Make sense as to why Madison was so eager to get to dinner.

"Oh." Cue dagger to the heart. "Well congratulations."

"I said no." I look up at her wide eyed. "Well I didn't exactly say no…I just left the restaurant and ran here."

"Why here?" Curiosity got the best of me.

She looks up at me and takes a couple steps in my direction, her eyes never leaving mine. "It was the last place I was ever truly happy."

I look away from her. This day has been too much for me.

"Ashley, I'm sorry about that day."

"Don't Spencer. Let's not do this." I don't want to sit here and bring up the past. I have been dealing with all those painful memories all night long. I don't want to go through it again.

"Do what?"

"Talk about that day. It's still too painful." She nods her head.

"Want some coffee?" I offer.

"Last time I check that was a beer bottle." She laughs looking down at the beer bottle in my hand.

"I live a few yards down the beach. I can make us some coffee."

"That would be great." She smiles.

We slowly start to walk back towards my house in silence. Nothing needs to be said now; I'm just enjoying being in her company once again. I just have a feeling those feelings I don't want to relive will probably be brought up tonight whether I like it or not.

I just need to remember she still has a girlfriend, a girlfriend who just proposed to her, a girlfriend who is still expecting an answer.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I know it's been a long time. But Life got in the way. Those who follow Give Me A Sign, I'm on a writers block with that but I will try to get it going here soon. **_

_**Thanks for Firecracker (Sparkles04) for being a nagging bitch of a friend for me to update. lol I mean that with all the respect in the world. :P**_

_**You're looking at maybe one more chapter for this story.**_

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"You live here?" We walk up to the deck of my beach house.

"Yeah, daddy left for me when…" I just couldn't finish the rest. It was still a fresh wound I didn't like to talk about.

"I wanted to call, but then I realized I didn't know what I would say. Then I finally worked up the courage and it said the number was no longer in service." She says as we stand awkwardly on my deck looking out towards the darkness of the night.

"Shh… It's okay Spencer. Glen sent flowers on your behalf." She looks at me wide eyed. I laugh at her shocked face. "Wasn't hard to figure out his handwriting on the card, he showed up at the funeral with Aiden."

A smile spreads across her face. "I'm glad he was there when I wasn't." I guess she doesn't know the extent of how much we actually saw each other. Glen and I had always been close, we'd met for lunch every other week to catch up. It was a rule never to bring up his blonde blue eyed sister and then I got slightly panicked because he and Aiden were best friends and he knew about us.

"So Madison, huh?"

"Oh, well, yeah."

"Are you going to say yes?" I can't help be curious.

The silence is killing me.

"No."

"No?" I question.

"I can't marry her." I feel my heartbeat pick up faster. "I made a stupid mistake years ago. I let my mother run my life and since then I've been running my life into the ground trying to find out where I went wrong and every time it leads me back to that night. That damn night I walk away from you."

Tears start to run down her face.

"I ran back to the pier tonight, just like I always do when things start crumble. I was sitting in the sand crying and wishing you would just come back and take me away and then all of a sudden you were there."

She turns to face me.

"I know I've made terrible choices in the past, you're the best thing that ever happened to me and it hurts me to know how much I must have hurt you that night. You were there promising me everything and I couldn't even promise you that night."

She pulls a chain that is wrapped around her neck out of her shirt. I can't believe she still has it.

"I never stopped wearing this. I always kept it close to my heart hoping one day I'll get to tell you I'm sorry, hoping I could redeem myself for my mistakes. This is my chance and I'm going to take it Ashley."

So much has been said I don't even know how to process all of this information. I gulp because she's walking closer to me.

"I'm not letting you go this time." She whispers out.

"You're with Madison." I say taking a step back. I can't afford for my heart to be hurt again. I can't put myself out there only for her run again. I need to know that this is what she really wants.

Spencer looks down at her feet and I see a single tear fall to the floor. "You don't believe me. You lost your trust in me and I understand that. But I'm going to prove it to you. That it's you. That it's always been you."

"Spencer, I…"

"Don't. You don't have to say anything. I can see it in your eyes, you're scared. I'm sorry." She steps forward and tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear. "You know…" a small smiles plays at her lips before she chuckles softly to herself, "where everywhere I was, whoever I was with it, it didn't matter. None of it ever mattered, because in my head I was always somewhere with you."

I look into her eyes and she has a faraway look in them like her mind is flushing through countless memories.

"I was the most happiest with you. You know? I'm so sorry that I made you doubt my love."

"Spencer…."

"No. Don't" speak. It's all me. I'm sorry. Its all my fault that I let you down."

"SPENCER." She finally looks at me with hopeful eyes. "let me speak. I was mad at you years ago. I've gotten over it."

"You have?" I look at her with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry" she says as a smirk plays on her lips.

"I have. I don't blame you for not wanting to come out. Everybody does it at their own time. It's not something that you prepare for. I am mad about the way you just walked away. You didn't fight hard enough for me. But I didn't fight hard enough for you either."

I take a seat on the couch and she sits down next to me. "I guess we both didn't fight hard enough."

I nod my head.

"We made a lot of mistakes didn't we?" When did she move closer to me on the couch?

"We did." I agree suddenly unable to form complete sentences as I take in her scent. I feel my breathing pick up and my palms get sweaty. After all these years and all the pain I've gone through I still can't help the way I feel about her.

She gets up and starts walking towards the door. "Where you going?" I ask with her sudden disappearance from the couch. I miss the warmth she provided sitting so close.

"I got some loose ends I need to tie up before I officially start to woo you again."

I must have confused written all over my face. "Madison. I need to break up with her."

I nod my head. "What makes you think I'd allow you to woo me?" I stand up and start moving towards her where her hand rests on the door knob.

"I wasn't really giving you an option." She smirks.

"And how do you know I'm not seeing anybody?" I challenge.

"Aiden doesn't count." My eyes bug out and my jaw drops to the floor.

"How did…"

"I didn't. You just confirmed it. He's always been your safety net. I just assumed." She shrugs her shoulders before leaning on and giving me a kiss a soft slow kiss in the cheek. Before pulling away she whispers "I'm going to get you back if it takes the rest of my life."

I feel my heart beat pick up and my breath hitch when she steps away from me.

"Umm…uhhh… did you need me to walk you back to the pier? Or drive you back?"

"No. I need time to think. I'll see you soon Ash."

With that she opens the back door and walks down the beach with her arms wrapped around her body. I watch her walk down the beach until I can no longer maker her figure. Whether she's true to her word, we'll see.


End file.
